Do you have kids? If you’re a Gen Xer, or even a little older, you know that things these days are so much different from how they used to be. I am SO glad that I grew up before the technology boom. We spent so many summers on the road. I would read, listen to music, look out the window and daydream, and get in some real snoozing as well. We saw so many things and while I’m sure I did my fair share of grumbling; I don’t ever remember simply not wanting to go on the trip at all. And, as previously mentioned, I was standing in hours long lines before I was 10 for rides at Disney. I cannot imagine my boys doing that!
It was back to school for 2 of my kiddos about a month ago. One started high school, and the other is big man on campus as a 5th grader at the elementary school. My 5th grader’s answer to everyone who asked how his summer was at back-to-school night was “boring, we didn’t do anything.” Mind you, my husband routinely asks everyone in the house if they want to do anything on the weekends. 90% of the time we all, me included, would rather chill at home.
Though we did stay at home most of the summer, we also took a trip to visit family 3 hours away. We stayed in a hotel and went swimming. My sister has a ranch, so the kids were able to play on a trampoline, swings, in a sand box and swimming pool at her place, not to mention all the animals and places there are to see and explore. Another Saturday they had the opportunity to meet the family at Elitch Gardens in Denver. My dad has generously gifted season passes to my husband and I for the last few summers so that we have a central place to meet as a family, so technically we could have gone several weekends if they’d wanted to! My boys did not want to go. So, I took my daughter and headed there to meet up with everyone, just the 2 of us. She had a blast in the kiddie pool area and was content for quite a while to roll around and see everything there was to see. I even got her on a few rides because I’ll be darned if this kid doesn’t want to Disney with me!! Starting her before 2 is hopefully the trick (though that didn’t seem to work with the middle child.) However, she was not patient while waiting for the ride to get going after boarding, and she was not entirely sure about the rides once they did start moving. Must continue trying!!
I am working hard at trying not to compare myself to other mothers and my kids to other kids. It is no easy task when so many people post all the fun pictures of things they and their children are enjoying. It seems the only time I can drag my boys away from gaming or YouTube is when it involves food. My oldest is amazing at video gaming. His hand eye coordination is really stellar! And it always amazes me that he can remember so much back story to characters and which buttons to push to do what. My middle kiddo is a natural artist. The kid has been blowing us away for years with his drawings. He watches YouTube like it’s his job and I get the impression he is soaking in as much content as possible to help inspire his next masterpiece. They simply like indoor activities. I can’t blame them. That’s me, too. And the less I have to worry about lathering them, and me, up with sunscreen, the better.
But other moms and their kids?? Out bike riding, camping, traveling, going to camps, playing with friends… It’s just a lot. This may, or may not, be a good time to mention that my oldest is on the autism spectrum and my middle has ADHD. They have both been diagnosed with depression. Life has been far from perfect for all of us, but I feel like we do the best we can with what we have. I sometimes wonder what our days would look like if we were still in the 80s. If they didn’t have technology at their fingertips 24/7, would they be more open to traveling and seeing more places, doing more things? And am I a horrible mother for still wanting to go places and do things, even if they don’t want to??
I rely heavily on my faith and on my family’s support team. I am still working on establishing a larger team as we all really struggle with mental health. That seems to be far too common these days. I often find myself wishing we could go back to the “simpler” days of the past. But then, they also had their own struggles, right? So as with everything, take it day by day. Learn to look around and find something to appreciate about where you are right now. Because someday you may look back and realize right now was a “simpler” day in time.
